Hello! If you're reading this, you're either a bot, very very deep into an internet rabbit hole or you have recently seen my draglesque act: Avocado Bomb! If you are in that third category, this post is here to answer all the questions you may have after seeing this act. Except for, "Why?" and "Are you ok?"
1: Music! Track one was Dr Jean's 'The Banana Dance', one of the viral moments of 2020. Here's the full track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFmr_TZLpS0
Track two was, of course, 'Cherry Bomb' by the Runaways, a riot grrl CLASSIC - listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EBvXpjudf8
All other audio recorded, mixed and mastered by me - did you know I'm a voice actor in my 'day job'?
2: "Are avocadoes really that bad?" - Yeah, sorry, they are. It's not avocados themselves, but the mass consumption - they're a really thirsty crop and can't be grown in the UK. We rely on a steady, year-round supply from various countries in Central and South America, and the demand is so high that farmers in economic hardship are pressured to destroy older forests to replace them with young avocado trees. These are catastrophically demanding on local water resources and are treated with chemical pesticides which harm local wildlife. Here are some links:
3: "Do I have to give up my guac?" - No. not necessarily! Perfect is the enemy of good and, unless you're planning on moving out to a self-sufficient commune any time soon, you'll find it impossible to cut out everything with a negative climate impact. It's important to be aware of the impact of your choices, and to choose better where you can. Pea mash is a good substitute for homemade avocado toast! You could also try growing your own avocados, although unless you have a humid greenhouse you don't have much of a chance of producing any fruit. Another great way to minimise your climate impact through your diet - assuming of course you've already either cut down on or cut out animal products, we're not doing environment 101 here - is to eat seasonally. It's a great way to connect to nature and keep your meals interesting. You can also grow your own - even a windowsill can accommodate a few pots of herbs - get into foraging or subscribe to a veg box service, where you'll receive a box of rescued veg and/or fruit and get to feel smug about your lifestyle while avoiding that Tesco run you've been dreading! Here is a guide to what fruits and veggies are in season throughout the year:
I hope this gives some ideas on how to ramp up your climate-conscious eating! May your pot-grown herbs flourish and your (enthusiastically consensual) spankings be plentiful!
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